Fishboy Sighting at Section Football Game

By Cormac Dolezal

East Ridge High School just got a little spookier.

During the highly anticipated section football game, several freshmen reported the smell of “Axe body spray” and “undercooked fish sticks.” Although the former may seem typical for a high school event, the later was definitely worth investigating. Being a personal fan of both mysterious smells and breaded seafood, this reporter found himself entranced with these supposed reports and decided to dig a little deeper.

When asked if he had experienced anything “fishy” that night, a sophomore boy claimed he had seen “a man with the body of a human but the face of a fish.” After being asked for more details, the boy drew the following picture from memory:

Only 95% sure this kid was telling the truth, this reporter decided it was best to consult a local scientist for more information. When asked whether the existence of a fish/human hybrid was possible, an unnamed science teacher questioned if I had taken any narcotics that day and sternly reminded me that her students were trying to test.

Whether fishboy exists remains to be seen, and this reporter is definitely not afraid to get a little wet.